


A Story To Someone I Love

by XxDanisquashxX



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 09:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxDanisquashxX/pseuds/XxDanisquashxX
Summary: A lot of love stories happen in different ways. Some start with the iconic words “once upon a time” and others start with a cliche, like with the brush of their fingertips or something along those lines. But this particular love story starts off differently, it starts off with an email.





	1. In between I

* * *

 

You see, there are only a few moments in life in which you can see yourself falling in an endless void and in those moments, that’s when you realize there’s nothing you can do that will save you from the inevitable crash against its depths. Whether you embrace the fall or not is your decision. Some people see the fall as something to be scared of while others say that the fall is half the fun.

 

Why do we fall in love? I think that’s a great question. You could look at it from a scientific standpoint, how humans are creatures that need socializing and relationships to function and that love is just one of the possible outcomes that can happen due to that fact or because there are chemicals in our brains giving us this particular feeling that we call love. You could also look at it from a religious standpoint, how God or a just higher deity have decided to unite these two souls together. You can also see it from a mythical standpoint, believing that each person has a destined soulmate they are meant to meet in their lifetime.

 

Could it be that love is just a chemical reaction in our bodies or could it be our souls reaching out to their bonded pair which makes us fall in love?

 

* * *

 


	2. An Email

     _Hey Danicka,_

_Sup. How’s MTHS going for you? My “summer vacation” just started so I seem to have plenty of free time, so I’d like to spend it by talking to some of you guys!_

_Well anyways, I’m doing great . . ._

 

She felt herself becoming a little flustered as she reread the email. Was she reading this correctly? An email? It was 2016 for God’s sake, there’s DMing and iMessage but, for some reason, she didn’t mind it. She enjoyed emails and often wondered what it would be like to have a pen-pal.

 

    “Well, not really a pen-pal since we’re emailing but close enough,” she shrugged as she laid down on her well worn leather couch. “Just an adorakable dork emailing me.”

 

    She sighed as she realized she was going to have to write an email back in response. Don’t get her wrong, she’s happy she got an email out of the blue but she just didn’t know how to write an email. It’s not like they teach you how to write one in school or anything. Okay, so maybe they did but that was formal purposes and she didn’t think that she should be whipping out her _totally_  impressive formal email format in a casual conversation.

 

    She sat straight up and bit her lip, staring at her iPod in deep concentration.

 

    “How do you start an email again?” she wondered aloud. “Okay, whatever, let’s just start with this...”

 

     ~~ _Dear_ _Migu_~~ ~~~~

    “Okay, yeah no. I’d look weirdo starting it off like that. It’s a little _too_ formal.”

 

     ~~Hey Migs!~~

 

    “... I’ll admit that’s a really fucking cute nickname but I don’t think we’re at the nickname stage yet.”

 

     _Hey Migueloooooo!!!_

_My not-so-summer is going great! (The sarcasm in that sentence is strong... XD) I’m currently procrastinating on my homework, writing a letter to one of the most important people in my life, and watching the oh-so-hawt Mark Fishbach and Sean McLoughlin!_

_Anyways, I wish I had as much free time as you do..._

 

 


	3. It’s Not Like I’m Fucked or Anything...

    “So, I’m fucked.”

 

    She was splayed across her couch, her iPod dangling loosely in her grip, her tank top sticking to her body due to the humid summer heat. It was August 2018 and she had just gotten the news that... her pen-pal? Her internet buddy?  ~~Her crush?~~ That Miguel had just come back to Canada. It’s totally cool though, it’s not like she was freaking out on the inside or anything.  ~~It’s not like after playing several games of PubG and hearing his voice for the first time she was already imagining what it would be like if she could hear his voice everyday... his beautiful, beautiful voice.~~ Totally not.

 

    “But whatever, it’s not like anything will happen between us anyways.” she stared down at her screen, a small frown on her face.

 

     _Typing . . ._

 

Why the fuck can’t she get these thoughts of him out of her head?! They’re just friends!

 

    _Lmao anyways I gtg to sleep_

 _Night husbandoooo ❤️_  

 

    “Yup,” a blush started to creep up on her cheeks. “Totally just friends... all I want. Totally.”

 

    She wondered how he felt about them. They had no idea how the other person looked and up until recently they didn’t even know what the other person’s voice sounded like. It was crazy to think that she fell in love with him while being a million miles away. But somehow, it seem right. Honestly, with all the cutesy names and hearts being sent back and forth, it was like they were a real couple... just without being an actual couple.

 

   Was this even normal? After years of her parents engraining it into her head that every person online is a solid _Stranger Danger_  if you don’t know them in real life warning, it seems like she was taking ten whole steps further by falling in love with a “stranger”. But was he even a stranger at this point?

 

    “ _Am I sure it’s love?_ ” she stared up at her beige popcorn ceiling, several pings of notifications breaking the silence. “ _How do I know for sure?_ ”

 

    _Don’t forget to be productiveeeee_

_Anyways now it’s really getting late 😂😂😂_

_Lmao_

_Okay now I’m really gonna go_

_Night/morning husbando ❤️❤️❤️_

 

    She smiled. Yeah, she was sure.


	4. Inbetween II

* * *

     How do know you’ve fallen in love? When you spend every waking moment think of them? When you repeatedly write their name besides yours like some sort of weird mantra in your English notebook? Or is it when you fight the urge to sleep just for another couple of minutes to spend with them. It could be all of these things or none of these things, everyone falls in love in unique ways but every way leads to one of the most amazing adventures.

* * *

 


	5. Inbetween III

 

 _To_ _be in love exemplifies you from all the details of life and suddenly nothing means anything. There’s only one thing means something, that is the object of your love. When you’re in that particular pure state of love, I mean, everything becomes meaningless, it’s great._

_~ Meaningless (eevee)_


	6. I Know You’re Here

“Shh, don’t worry,” the words seem so natural to him as he held her close to his chest. “I’m right here.”

 

In a crowded and noisy cafeteria, if felt as if it were just the two of them there. Sitting in the second row of tables near the middle isle surrounded by friends and watched by the teachers.

 

Did he care though? No. What he cared about was the girl in his arms, the one who was crying in his shirt, refusing to meet his eyes and speak. He felt helpless. There are so many things he wants to do but right now, those options aren’t even coming to mind when the person he holds so fucking close to his heart is crying her heart out. He wants to make her smile, he wants to tell her how everything will be alright and that he’s always going to be here for her. Honestly, if he found a magic lamp with a genie who granted three wishes he would definitely use them all on her. He would do anything just to see her beautiful smile again. 

 

He felt her grip on his sweater tighten as another silent sob raked though her body. He closed his eyes and held her tighter, wishing that whatever pain she felt would disappear. He felt her breath beginning to even out and her sobs turned into a mere trickle of tears cascading down her cheeks. She cupped his face in her hands and gave him a shaky smile. He felt his heart break a little.

 

“I’m okay, baby,” she hugged him tight. “I know you’re here. I love you.”

 

And in that crowded and noisy cafeteria, they felt the world around them fall apart and all they could see was each other.


	7. Inbetween IV

Are relationships prefect? Fuck no. But we try to make it be perfect. I think in the supposed “honeymoon” stages of a relationship, everything seems perfect. We laugh, we smile, and we make happy memories. I think we also have that small inkling, a persistent bad thought in the back of our head that tells us that things might be a little too perfect. But as we go on, we ignore it because if it’s perfect now, why wouldn’t it be perfect later? Who cares if you fight because you’re both in love. A small fight wouldn’t stop anyone from loving the other, would it?

 

I think the real problem arises when you say nothing. It happens when you’re in a fight and that nagging feeling comes back. The small fights keep adding up until that nagging feeling comes back at full force and hits your heart light a freight train. You realize that neither of you are perfect and that communication is key. You have to come up with solutions to make it work and you desperately want it to work because god, you’ve never felt this way before and you don’t think you could live without them.

 

As always, the outcome depends on you and the other person. You both have to fight, if it’s one sided, it’s never going to work. So maybe, you pray, you hope, and you wish on the weirdly magical numbers 11:11 to stay with them. But no matter how much you hope, wish, and pray, you are ultimately the one who needs to change things.

 

As much as you don’t want to, you need to address the elephant in the room and by elephant I mean that shitty, tiny nagging feeling in the depth of your mind that ruins your mood in the middle of a date or during a long pause of silence. That small nagging feeling that seems to grow bigger and bigger when you focus on it. That minuscule feeling that makes you doubt yourself and makes you constantly ask the other person if they’re one hundred percent sure that they want to be with you. The used-to-be-microscopic feeling that comes knocking at the door of your brain when you’re enjoying yourself with your partner because the feeling just feels like casually crushing your heart.

 

The once teeny-weeny-itty-bitty feeling is now just as heavy as the sky that the Greek titan Altas carried on his shoulders, the punishment from the the god Zeus for trying to dethrone him and the rest of the olympians. You carry it around with you everywhere, even on your happiest days. The thought lurking about your mind no matter what you do.

 

It’ll stay with you until you decide to embrace it. You definitely don’t want to but you need to realize that as much as you try to sugarcoat things, relationship are not perfect. You need to realize that you will definitely fuck up sometimes, that your emotions will get the best of you and that you can’t always kiss it better.

 

Sounds like a lot of work but if you really love the other person, you’ll do it. You’d do anything for them. You want to make your relationship work and god knows you’d put your blood, sweat and tears into your relationship. You wake up in the morning and in those moments where you’re barely awake and remembering that you’re with your partner make you feel so fucking powerful. Knowing that you have such a strong person who has your back and is always in your corner whenever you need it makes everything just a little bit easier because you know that with them you can definitely work it out.

 

Relationships aren’t perfect, but the other person? Fuck yeah they are.


	8. Engraved

       You know what hurts? Walking past someone you know, someone who was once or is so fucking important in your life and seeing them walk past you, staring straight ahead, not noticing your existence.

    It hurts so fucking much.

    It hurts because you know every single thing about that person. You could rival their damn family on their knowledge about them, that’s how much you knew about them. It hurts because when you see them, you realize you still have so many things to say and do with them but in that moment, in that small second, you can feel your heart plummet as you watch them stare right past you even though you could be right in front of them.

    Your heart sinks down your chest because you know at one point the both of you could pick each other out from a crowd. If they asked you to find them in a crowd of thousands, you know you’d find them easily. You have every single detail about them engraved in your mind after all that time committing it to your memory. Hell, if you were a good enough artist you could probably recreate exactly how they look just from your memory. You can imagine everything, no matter how small.

    The way the light makes his dark brown eyes seem to be so much lighter and you can feel yourself stare into his eyes, wondering if his eyes were always this beautiful as you try to memorize the different shades of brown and gold.  
    The way that one wrinkle in the crease of his left eye is a tad bit more downwards than the other side.  
    The way his veins in his left hand from a pattern of a weird tree that you always seem to mindlessly trace when you’re holding hands.  
    The way his hair magically curves to the left side no matter how much you try and mess it up.  
    The way his collarbones have that dip in them that make it look somehow so damn hot and you don’t know why because they’re just collarbones but, on him they just look so damn fine.  
    The way his smile is pulled more to his left side when he’s doing that face that just screams “uh-huh I told you so” as you do another dumb thing.  
    The way his lips purse in two different ways from his resting bitch face and his “I’m-so-done-with-you” face.

    Every single detail of them becomes ingrained in your mind and on the days where you fight or the days you aren’t together, your subconscious just decides to recreate their imagine in your mind. In some cases, it can hurt like hell because you don’t want to think of them but in other cases, you subconsciously smile as you picture them in your mind. You can clearly hear the sound of their voice as they do that one cutesy voice that never fails to make you laugh, as they sing you a soft lullaby or their favourite song for you, as their laugh seemingly rings in your ears even though it’s been a while since you’ve heard their voice.

    It’s amazing, isn’t it? The way a human mind can store all this memory of a single person, they way your mind is able to subconsciously create them in all of your dreams and the way your mind automatically connects everything back to them.

    In these moments, you want nothing more but to run up behind them and hug them. But sometimes you just can’t and when it’s one of those times, you feel your heart slowly break as you watch them walk away and you feel helpless in that moment don’t you? You wish you could go back in time and fix things. But if life was that easy, I wouldn’t be writing this, now would I?

   Although you might feel hopeless now, I take solace in knowing that this might just be a rough patch. Not everything is all sunshine and rainbows (no matter how much you pray to god for that) and no relationship is ever a hundred percent perfect. There’s always ups and down and sometimes it’s just a fucking sinusoidal function that’s stretched vertically by a power of over a million that has a minimum way in the negatives with a number you can’t even fathom.

    Moral of the story is that you miss them. It’s just a matter of if you’ll fight for them or not but I know for sure that I’ll do everything in my power, everything I can possibly do just to keep him beside me.

    I’d do anything just to see him smile at me again.


	9. Inbetween V

    I think the scariest thing in a relationship is the possibility that you could fuck up. It’s fucking hell knowing that can happen, especially when you’re with someone you know you want to spend the rest of your life with.

    I think I’ve spent a good chunk of my relationship worrying over that. Every fight that’s ever occurred, I always break down crying in the end. Not usually because of the fight itself but the more that we fight, the more I think about the “what if”s, a genuinely dangerous path when you’re mentally fucked up and depressed.

    So many thoughts stream through your head and it’s overwhelming to the point where it brings you into a mild panic attack. The possibilities are endless and that’s one of the worst parts about them. Even though you know things are going to be fine in the end, you always seem to doubt yourself.

What if they don’t think our relationship is worth fighting for?  
What if they lose interest in me?  
What if they think I’m not worth it?  
What if they think I took it too far?  
What if they don’t want to fix what we have?  
What if they decide to give up?  
What if they feel like they don’t want to be with me?  
What if they feel like I’m forcing them to stay with me?

What if they don’t love me anymore?

    It’s scary because these scenarios could happen. It’s scary because it’s realistic. It’s scary and you feel so vulnerable and alone. You’ve bared yourself to the other person, let them see every single side of you and you know that with one sentence, they could just end it all.

    “I want to break up.”

    Both the hardest thing to say and to hear. When you say it, it’s as if you’ve just swallowed a spoonful of sawdust making it impossible to speak clearly. When you hear it, you can physically feel your heart shatter, your ears ring and the feeling of tears trying threatening to escape.

    But we need to take solace in knowing that the other person does love us. Even if it’s hard to believe, even when you think you have too many faults for someone to love you, you need to believe the other person. You just need a little faith, trust and pixie dust! Okay maybe not pixie dust unless pixie dust is actually another dose of trust and faith. Then it’s really just faith and trust squared, isn’t it?

    It’s definitely terrifying being in a relationship. You’re suddenly caring for more than just yourself. You’re putting your heart and soul on the line to ensure that the other person’s heart is always safe and sound. It’s sometimes overwhelming when you realize that you have the power to break their heart, a power you never wanted because they’re so fucking precious to you and you could never think of hurting them.

    I think that’s what makes relationships special. You both have the power to break the other person heart but at the same time, you’re also the one guarding and protecting it. You are both the knight in shining armour and the evil villain.

    It’s scary and I still don’t have a good answer on what to do. All I can do, is try my best to keep his heart safe, to see him smiling everyday and to always be by his side.

    It’s scary but with him, I think I could face anything.

 


End file.
